Can We Really Trust Dogs?

The Weekly Read #19, "Dogs: Who Are They Really?"

Much like Erin from The Office, all of a sudden, you’re awake.  Your alarm is going off and the day is beginning.  You change clothes, feed your pup, and head out the door.  Once you step outside, the world is yours. However, back at home, your dog is aware that they now have the place to themselves. Have you ever considered what that pup might be doing at home alone all day?  

In the past few years, thanks to my roommates, I have lived with pets for the first time in my life. My childhood was spent in homes absent of pets due to allergic predispositions shared by my Momma,  sister, and I.  Since my journey of being a pet uncle has begun, a rabbit hole in my mind has been opened.  What is it that these animals are doing while they are out of our sight? Sure, there are movies that consider this concept like “The Secret Lives of Pets,” but I didn’t watch them - so my imagination is unstained… And when Jack and I leave home, we ask each other what we think Malcolm, Jack’s pit-bull-beagle-terrier, may be doing.

What might you be doing, Mr. Malcolm?

Often bobbing just a few mere inches from the ground we walk on, the brains of our little tamed beasts probably have a better grasp of this world than the common man or woman.  Some may argue, "they can't be that smart, they can’t even speak English or French!" - and to this I argue, “How can you be so certain?” Plus, is it not the things unsaid that are often most telling? Is it not the words we refrain from saying, the words we choose to omit, that often mean the most? It’s easy to say “That’s a sweet shirt!” It’s hard to say “I love you.” 

Taking a step back, a dog’s lack of words may be a sign of wisdom to the highest degree.  A creed of silence held by only the strongest of minds.  A daily practice of zen mastery. To close my mind to the possibility that our little friends live a colorful life behind closed doors is a naivety I can no longer take part in. 

What is it that you do, Malcolm?

The common denominator between an alien spaceship, a radio satellite, and a dog: antennas. The whiskers of a dog are the original antenna and quite possibly the inspiration for all of our scientific fantasy. When men are lost in jungles, both arboreal and concrete, dogs have nudged from our side the way to go. What gives them this ability? A miraculous sense of smell, an in-tune gut feeling, and most importantly: whiskers.

Whiskers guide the ones who guide us.

If dogs are “man’s best friend,” then by the transitive property it is understood that dogs are God’s “little secret agents.” Why, yes! If dogs are “man’s best friend,” and if we humans are created in the image of God, then dogs are undoubtedly the muse for our omni-powerful parent. If dogs are "man's best friend," then we can be certain they are the beings appointed to shepherd us towards Nirvana.

Who are you, really, Mr. Malcolm? And what in God’s name might you be doing?

All of this is to raise the question: If you freed your mind to dance in its imagination, what do you think your mutt is really doing all day long? 

I like to imagine dogs having full lives inside their homes while their owners journey off for the day. Jack and I happily imagine Malcolm putting on a chef's hat when we leave. It is my dirty pleasure to imagine Malcolm then cracking a few eggs into a bowl and making brownies for all of the neighborhood hounds. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but Toy Story was most likely written by a group of pups to throw human beings off their double-lived scent.

So the next time you pack your lunch and head out for the day, consider taking a few steps back and putting your ear against the door - your dog may be on the other side, on the precipice of cracking the greatest known mysteries of the Earth.  

Read a Book

Sent August 14, 2025.